Tuesday, April 10, 2018

A Bonus Post on Godly Relationships:

Like many Christians involved in ministry, Kathy and I built our relationship, while in a college that was in many ways like PIU. I observe couples at PIU building relationships. That is good. I expect that some of those relationships will blossom into the kind of loving, lasting, committed marriage that Kathy and I have enjoyed for more than 45 years. That is very good. 
I can assure you that you don't get God's best from disobedience.
Before I came on the scene some Godly, loving people established some guidelines for building good relationships in this strange environment known as a Christian University.

Dating Relationships:
A Christian university, like PIU, is a great place to develop godly relationships. In order to keep all relationships godly we will together commit to the following godly principles:
Principle #1: Blessing
As a community, we wish to encourage healthy dating relationships on campus. However, we cannot bless what we cannot see. This is why we require these relationships to be visible and public. Couples need to resist the temptation to be exclusive and private. Behavior that is intentionally exclusive on or off campus is to be avoided. Keep your relationship “in the light” and include others in your time spent together. Seek godly counsel from staff and even other students, and God will bless your obedience to his ways.
Principle #2: Boundaries
Godly boundaries are clearly given in the Bible. These boundaries are for our safety and true satisfaction. Understanding these proper boundaries is very important. They include, but are not limited to:
 expressing physical affection
 amount of time spent (both in person and on the phone)
 commitment issues
 sexual activity
 
Students must not participate in any type of sexual immorality including premarital sex, samesex relationships, or any other sexually immoral behavior.  (PIU Student Handbook, p.19)

Let's be honest and face the truth. When we have special feelings for someone, it feels really good to be with them, even better to be in contact with them. Our guidelines and boundaries are there to help control the drive for more of those feelings that soon takes over these close relationships. I won't preach a sermon, here. I will give you an open invitation. Kathy and I are glad to help you build the kind of relationship that is pleasing to God and that will bring you, and the special person God sends your way a lifetime of joy. 

A couple of years ago when I was teaching PIU's Marriage and Family Class, in a hybrid setting, I posted a couple of things that might be helpful to you.

I put together a brief autobiographical piece about how Kathy and I got together. It wasn't smooth. The first link is to a written version of the story. The second to a video. Both tell the same story.


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